So ya as a lot of you can tell I have been MIA again. I’ve been super busy with doing a ton of stuff in life. So much updates to share with you all, good and bad.
So first let me start off by saying the my first HS died back in June I believe it was. he was the best fish (only fish) I’ve ever had. he was so kind to me and very near. We would eat lunch on a daily bases together. so sad I had to flush him down to his grave.
Rest In Peace HS(Holy Spirit)!
once alive now resurrected
So let’s move on to some more happy things in life….
I got a freakin” dog! (not to replace HS though). She is like legit the best thing in my life. On the realz she might be my new girlfriend…wait no she is. she is super cute. be prepared, about to have a gallery of pictures of Kacey!
We are made for each other….
Also as some of you may know me and Morgan have decided to our own separate ways. We are both still best friends and will always be. She is still the only person that truly gets me in life. But we are just made to be in a friendship instead of a relationship.
Huge update, I’ve started to train for my second marathon…yep doing it again. This one is the Philly Marathon and before I do this Marathon I signed up for the Half rock n’ roll which is next weekend and is in Philly as well. Really starting to increase my mileage these next couple of weeks. Marathon training is real dedication to running that’s for sure. I legit do nothing but run, work, and school. Which talking about school. Its my third week into the semester and still super stressed out. Haven’t really made any new friends and totally forgot how much work college was. Its hard to make friends since I don’t live on campus. I have been really considering moving down to the city or on campus next semester to get more engaged in the social life here at temple. A rough over view of my schedule:
wake up 6:20am or 5:45am(if feeding Kacey) then class or work 6:45am-4:30pm Monday-Saturday. then run in the evening. SO as you can tell I legit have no life and no time, kind of getting to me now. barely time to study let alone relax. But dealing with it. Hoping that I find a way to free up sometime. might have to lose some hours at work or something cause I need time off.
So Church update. I go to church when ever I feel like it really. haven’t been that involved which isn’t really taking a toll on me. I’ve come to conclusion that its such a more stressful and overwhelming life to live when your always trying to be “perfect” with God. I’m not perfect and will never be and I’m ok with it. I don’t read my bible and don’t pray and I’m ok with it. I feel if you believe and know who Jesus is he will meet you where you are. Just like that song “as we cry” by Housefires, the lyrics go, “Lord as we cry will you meet us where we are.” Such a beautiful song that defines the savior we all know and choice to believe in.
So my job. I love Starbucks so much! I love the people I work with and I love the customers(for the most part), even the ones that get venti, 2 pump raspberry, Little ice, no water sub lemonade, cool lime refresher…Yes I just said that and yes it is the best drink ever no thanks to the barista TJ. I’ve met some pretty awesome people within the coffee industry. I’ve made some awesome friends. we call ourselves the bomb squad, Tiffany, TJ, and me. We define Starbucks haha but on the realz I love my job. There not just coworkers anymore there actually my friends. It’s awesome to have friends that will actually stick around through the good and bad times.
I have my half marathon in bout 6 days. Its not really a big race to me because it is one of my long run days so i have to do 19 miles that day instead of 13.1 so I will not be celebrating at “the finish”. Its going to be weird but I find it to be cool to run a race but run more then the race is. Its going to be a great run though. Its along boat house row which is where I run every Sunday (long run day). My marathon is in a little more then a month away which is the same route the half marathon is on. I’ve become so addicted to run. I pretty much just talk about running, my pup, and my job. The things I love the most in this world.
Yep this is me currently and I am satisfied with life. I finally balanced spirituality and reality. I am now livin’ the life which is freakin’ awesome. Swag!
me before leaving for Kona
So today marks the day for a year since I left for DTS in Hawaii. I can’t believe a year ago I was starting a crazy new Journey in my life. I Went to DTS not knowing anyone and only knowing two people that have done one before (both in Kona, Hawaii). So as you can tell this was a pretty new thing in my life and a super big step for me to take in my faith. Going to DTS meant I fully relying on God to do whatever he wanted with me. I am the clay and he is the potter and I was just making that come alive in my life finally. Before leave for DTS I had such an amazing group of kids in my life and knew I was leaving them for 6 months and not knowing if we would still be friends coming home because I was coming back transformed. I was super scared to go to DTS. Right before DTS I was just filled with so much Doubt and know now that Satan was surely trying to get a stronghold in my life and I wasn’t backing down for him. So July 5th, I was off to Kona, Hawaii along with 88 others kids around my age from around the world. We all were gathering together to be taught the different characteristics of the lord and how to life out the bible. DTS was such a hard time but so worth it. It was my first time away from home for such a long period of time. Would I do it all over again the same way….YES! I learned so much about myself and my walk with the lord. Once returning I learned who were my true friends that stuck by my side through out all of DTS and outreach and who was sticking by my side throughout re-entering into society. Super hard though cause when I returned I expected all my Christian friends to be there for me but I was wrong only a couple where and most of my non-Christian friends in my life were always there for me when I returned. Super hard to walk strong with the lord when most of your closest friends weren’t. Did I judge them for not lovin’ Jesus, No. It was just hard for me to say no to something’s because I didn’t want to loss them as friends if I said no. I wanted community but wasn’t seeking it in the right areas. So what I did was decided to just work my butt off to keep myself busy to stay out of trouble. Then one day I realized I was no longer happy working 40-50 hours a week and decided to open my schedule up to maybe get involved with a church and some ministries which is where I am currently in life. Being honest my relationship with the lord isn’t as strong as it was when I was at DTS or even the first month of coming home. There is no one to blame for that but myself. I am the one that controls how I feel about the lord and how much time I want to put into him. Its harder to get back on track once you have fallen off. So I recommend never taking the wrong road cause it will be hard to turn around and start over again.
Let me give you an update of life on the realz. So I can finally say I am a Marathon runner. I’ve completed the Rock n’ Roll San Diego on June 1st 2014.
It was the hardest physical thing I have ever endured. The day before my race I got to meet up with some fellow Ywamers which was amazing. we went to the beach and just hung out and caught up on life.
Daniel(SD), me(PA), Morgan(GA), Yejin(LA), and Rachel(LA).
That day at the beach I got fried! So I was in a little pain already for my marathon. So your probably wondering how the marathon went well lets just say that I have plans to start training mid July for the Philadelphia Marathon which is on November 21, 2014. The reward and feeling of crossing the finish line out in San Diego was amazing. Ever since I started running (a little over 2 years ago) my goal was to complete a marathon and I finally did! Let me get more in depth about the course and about how I felt.
So the morning of the Marathon I forgot my watch in the hotel which is the piece of equipment that helped me pace myself (first mistake). Also I didn’t eat breakfast (Second mistake). All the marathon runners took off at 6:15 am. my pace for the first 6 miles was 7:29, which is way to fast considering I was training at a 8:05 mile. So the time mile 11 came around I was already beat. So some highlights from the race, Blue jolly ranch at mile 22, fruit at mile 23, and crossing the finish line. But the biggest highlight was this one:
Yes that is a cut out of my face…Gary (big brother) ordered a print out cut out of my face and got it sent to the hotel for race day. Morgan happened to be the one lovin’ on it. But I had no idea he got that, so as I was running past them at mile six (gary handed me my watch here) and I see this. It brought so much joy to my face. All’s I could do from that first time seeing it was thinking about seeing it again along my route. I probably have, no I mean I know I have the best fan club! You could probably tell that it was easy to find them at the end of the race as well. But ya so that sums up my marathon. It was the best adrenaline rush ever and I can’t wait to get that feeling again in November. This time I will make sure I have everything so I’m able to run it all instead of walk some.
“Just hanging out with AJ”
Now its time for a Jesus update.The Lord has been so good to me. I’ve finally realized that what you put into your relationship with The Lord is what you will get out of it. If you don’t put time and dedication then you won’t have a strong connection with him but if you spend quality time with him your relationship will never be shaken and you will stand firm next to the Big G. Yes coming home from YWAM was such a struggle but I am finally seeing where The Lord was during that time, he was right next to me! What I’ve really learned about myself is that I have an addictive personality. Ya learned it the hard way but know now that The Lord is the only thing that I want to be addicted too. When there is struggle in your life turn to Jesus and bring your requests to him. He will heal your hurt and broken life. When you feel like there is something missing in your life the answer is Jesus! When you have fallen the only way to get back up is to lean on Jesus. Jesus is the answer to my life and to many others. Don’t allow your faith to be determined by society but the love you have for The Lord determine your faith.
So college update…I am officially an Owl at Temple University of Pennsylvania. My major is business management which is part of the Fox school of business which is supposedly a great school. I will be starting in the fall and commuting. Ya it probably is a shock to a lot of you because you could see my heart for Vegas was super strong but I realized that Temple is the most logical decision for me (Ya I know logic isn’t always God’s plan). But during my two years at Temple I plan on getting involved with some Cool ministries on campus as well as in the city of Philadelphia. My plans for going to Temple is to find a job out in California once I graduate. I am just so in love with the life style on the west coast and truly feel that is where I belong, but first I have to check with papa that’s where he wants me after temple but no need to worry cause that’s in two years. But also while at Temple I plan on studying abroad and doing some like really rad evangelizing while on abroad.
So recap- finished first marathon June 1st, 2014 in San Diego
Starting to train for second marathon mid/end of July
Returning back to college (Temple University)
And still deeply in love with The Lord and will always be
Jesus you are my strength when I am weak, you are my help when I am helpless, you are my God my savior , forever and always.Amen!
Update! So I am currently busy as anything. I am working about 50 hours a week along with running full time as well. my life schedule currently looks like this: 7am-1pm Starbucks, 1-4 run or rest, then 5-10 Wegmans. So as you can tell I’m like super busy in life. Also I recently deactivated my Facebook because it was becoming a huge distraction in life, plus if you really wanna know how I’m doing you cam always call me, we do live in the 21st century. But anyways, I’ve recently decided to also not talk to others about my future and just bring it straight to the lord because I want to follow his plan for my life not societies.
Besides all that, I’ve been looking at other young adult groups in my area that I can get involved with because I feel like I need to start grounding myself into a community cause I actually am learning how valuable it is to have biblical community.
But what I really want to talk about is where I am currently at this very moment. I am currently reading “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. I read the devotional at least twice a day ( mid day and night). This book has been life changing so far. It has given me new eyes to really appreciate what I have in life and thank God for the good things I have going in my life. The biggest turn around was May 9th devotional. It talks about turning your vision into an ideal. My vision was going back to YWAM soon as possible to run away from my struggles at home but then I realized I needed to stop chasing that idea. I needed to face the truth, I’m not going back to YWAM until the Lord calls me back so I need to stop idealizing my chances of going back soon. I’ve also been reading a book called “Wrecked” by Ryan Dobson and Toben Heim. This book is legit yo. It was changed me for ever and I’m only 25 pages in. It is about living a wreckage life with Jesus. It talks about struggling and how we should deal with struggle in our lives but dealing with struggle with Jesus along side of us. I recommend this book to anyone that is dealing with wreckage in there life and needs a perspective on how to deal with it.
Ok now its time for the big news! So since being home from YWAM I’ve lost best friends, regained a couple of old ones, and created new ones. but The ultimate thing is I’ve gain the best friend I could ever have while in Asia but even better while in Hawaii. I’ve gain a best friend that will be there for me through thick and thin no matter the distance. I’ve gained a friend that has forever changed my heart and is and continues to rocked my life. She is one of my best friends and I’ve only known her for almost a year. She has done nothing but stuck by my side and has helped me overcome struggles in my life. she has nothing but been honest with me and never once has forsake or has even forgotten about me and our friendship. We went from spending long nights in the prayer room in Kona, to having my comfort food for dinner one night in Kona, to rocking Asia with some amazing Jesus love, to saying good-bye in Kona December 13th to saying hello again April 30th. I feel honored and privileged to call my co-team member, P.I.C, and powerful worship leader Morgan Clark my Girlfriend.
Yes we are officially dating! Yes its going be hard with the distance but I know and trust Her a ton. we know it will be hard work to make it happen but we both are willing to try. I care so much about Morgan and greatly appreciate her friendship and value her love for Christ. she does nothing but looks out for my best interest. She wants me to succeeded in life as well as I want to see her too. She is such a beautiful independent women that really knows the heart of the father. she continues to search out each and everyday to know more of the father and that is something that is really attractive about her, plus she is pretty. Can’t say enough great things about this wonderful girlfriend I have.
On the realz, let me tell you about life cause I clearly haven’t been blogging or keeping people up-to-date. So recently (more like two weeks ago) I’ve decided to commit to a marathon, FINALLY! So I will be running the San Diego Rock n’ Roll Marathon on June 1st.
For those that don’t know how long a marathon is, its 26.2 miles. which is like super long and super fun I think. In order for any human body to do a marathon you have to train in advance which my training is a 16 week training.
You also have to see which foods give you the best energy as well so that means watching what you eat. I personally hate watching what I consume because ain’t nobody have time to count calories and stuff like that but I am dedicated to this marathon so you have to do what you have to do. But on the flip side your probably wondering where am I spiritually…well lets just say I am coming back and really depending on Jesus now. God used something I love which is running to stop me from all the sins and temptations I was falling into. It was either give up running or give up the things that effected my running. I chose to give up the things that effected my running because when I run it is usually a time of worship and a time I spend with the lord. I usually run to like crazy worship music like United Pursuit or like Misty Edwards. But I am so grateful That Jesus really used something I love to save me from going deeper into the valley. That’s just something recently that he did in my life.
A huge thing I’ve been working on is discipline. I’ve decided to read at least a chapter from he bible every day because I know how important it is to stay grounded in the word. I’ve realized when I came home I fell so hard is because I was not reading the word. So ever since I started to read the word everyday my life has become a lot more alive. I really am starting to see Jesus truly move again in my life. A huge thing that I got from my reading one day was this, 1 Peter 1:14 “As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.” Truly spoke to me. In the last three months I have been basically giving into the evil desires I once believed were true. Well this verse really woke me up to the ignorant life I was living for the first three months of being home. well am now not trying to give into them evil desires and really have defeated those desires I once had. I’m a freakin’ conqueror again all because Jesus has rescued me from sin and has grated me mercy and grace since the very beginning. Its awesome to finally say I am truly falling back in love with Jesus again. When ever your down remember that Jesus is always there to come and pick you back up.
Ok so I’m finally going to share what is offic(ally) going on and what is next in my cray journey. So for the last couple of weeks I have been considering going back to Kona to staff a DTS. The reason I was considering this was because I needed discipline and also a firm community. I also deeply miss the worship and the teaches I was getting out of being in Kona. And of course I miss the beach as well. This past week was a pretty rough week cause I had to decide if I was going back. The reason this week was decision making week was because I was starting my new job at Starbucks and didn’t want to start if I was just going to leave in three weeks to be gone for 9 months…Yes I would have left April 4th. These last couple of weeks have been the better weeks of me being home, why? because I have been reading the bible a lot more and also spending a lot more time with the daddy. Even though I don’t have a firm community home doesn’t mean I cant continue to grow with the lord.
Ok so the reason I decided to stay home and work two jobs and figure out life was because the reasons for me going back to Kona didn’t make sense, lacking community, lacking quiet time, lacking passionate worship. Theses were all things that I could get here at home if I just searched out for it a little or even started my own community or worship time with fellow believers. I feel as if the lord wants me to stay home because I now know what it means to live in community but if I had nothing in this world would I still be happy with just having Jesus (this means having no community). So I feel as if my time at home is me and Jesus working on a intimate relationship with each other instead of others helping me grow. So while I am home growing it isn’t because others are pouring into me it is purely because Jesus is pouring into me. Once I have learned this crazy lesson I feel then papa will release me to develop or even join a community of firm believers that I can pour into and also be poured into as well. Yes not having community is risky but I KONW the lord is my sustainer and will help me when I need help. he is my best friend and the only community I really need. Yes the bible does say we need community but even more importantly we need JESUS more because if you were the only one left on earth would you be happy with just Jesus? So during my time at home I need Jesus more then I need a community currently.
So ya I’ll be working at Wegmans (a grocery store) and also Starbucks and also will be training for my first marathon in June out in San Diego. I am so stoked because my dream goal this year was to complete a marathon. I can’t believe I’m really making it happen but please be praying for me because I think I messed up my knee and am hoping it doesn’t put me out of training to long. But ya that is were I am at currently and my thoughts for the future as well.
O, last thing I am hoping to make it out to Las Vegas to go to school (UNLV) but really not sure what I want my major to be anymore. So if you could please be praying for God to steer me into the major that will glorify his name the best.